Last updated on July 22nd, 2025 at 06:46 pm
There are many guides on how to be a gentleman, but here is a very simple day-to-day guide wherever you may find yourself.
The times we are in are rude, fast, selfish, and uncouth, and people have imbibed those as normal ways of life.
But the gentleman is different… and this difference could be the source of the challenges facing him.
I find this time interesting because it gives me – a natural gentleman an opportunity to stand out with my rustic (if you like) and impeccable finish of manner.
While some see maintaining gentlemanliness in 2023 as volunteering to be an orphan, true gentlemen see it as the easiest way to stand out.
From a distance, a gentleman might appear effeminate or even a people’s pleaser, but up close, he’s got solid personal boundaries with formidable discipline to power his life.
What underlies his philosophy is to try his best to make people comfortable, exuding integrity and honesty.
Wherever you find yourself, you must bless the environment with your gentlemanly qualities, and also passively teach others how to be a gentleman.
Now let’s go…
I am going to explain how to be a gentleman according to situations.
At least, we find ourselves in one or more of these situations every day of our lives, and that makes it important to put up the very best attitude to make people feel less pain, beam up with smiles, or be comfortable.
We have a comprehensive article on how to be a gentleman on the internet (netiquette), so it wasn’t included in this article.
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Table of Contents
- How to be a Gentleman at Home
- How to be a Gentleman at the Workplace
- A Gentleman on the Streets
- A Gentleman with Visits
- A Gentleman in Conflict
- A Gentleman in the Party
- Gentleman in Dressing
- Conclusion
- Frequently Asked Questions
How to be a Gentleman at Home
It is easy to let all guards down when in your closet – when nobody is looking, but the thing is this: a true gentleman does not wear and unwear his character when he desires.
Yeah… it’s okay to practice gentlemanly conduct until they stick, but at all times, at all places, a gentleman makes sure he upholds his good conduct.
So instead of being tempted to be a half gentleman at home, double down on discipline.
If you are a family man, it even gets more interesting because you have the important task of passing the traits on to your children.
Check out an article on the importance of teaching your children gentleman’s conduct.
Here are ways to be a gentleman at home:
Be a Good Husband, Father, and Sibling
A true gentleman does not have different codes of conduct in different situations.
He is as courteous at work as he is at home. He does not treat his boss with respect and treats his wife with carelessness.
He respects his wife and treats her as an equal and provides for his family.
The same goes for his siblings and extended families.
Be a Good Neighbour
Look out for neighbours’ good and always respect boundaries, this is important.
Nothing is more annoying than having a noisy emotionally daft neighbour who disregards people’s comfort.
Don’t be him …. treat your neighbours and family with respect by keeping noise levels reasonable and being mindful of their privacy.
Avoid engaging in disruptive behavior that could disturb others.
Related: Gentleman’s Online Civility Guide
Practice Good Personal Hygiene
A true gentleman does not need to be reminded about the importance of hygiene.
You must have to take care of yourself by maintaining good personal hygiene.
Be clean, well-groomed, and considerate of others when it comes to shared spaces like the bathroom.
Related: How to Become a Man of High Value
Be Mindful of Noise Levels
Organized noise is good, but it depends on the situation. When you blast your music, take a call, or discuss with people, always have your finger on the pulse of the rhythm of the environment.
Be mindful of other people’s need for peace and quietness.
Avoid playing loud music, having noisy phone conversations, or making unnecessary loud noises, especially during late hours.
Show Appreciation
For every little gesture from people around you, show gratitude. A laundry, a well-cooked meal, or a well-kept kitchen show appreciation.
It doesn’t matter if it is their job. Occasional tips or appreciative words can do the job.
Express gratitude and appreciation for the efforts of others in your home.
Recognize and acknowledge the contributions and hard work of your family members or roommates.
Related: How Kindness and Empathy Make a Gentleman
Share Responsibilities
There is a wrong belief that men don’t need to do house chores as they are reserved for women.
It’s unfortunate that men bought this opinion and ran with it.
There are few sights worse than sitting idly while there are tasks around your home to be done when you as a gentleman don’t have your hands tied.
Take on your fair share of household chores and responsibilities.
This could include cleaning, cooking, taking care of younger siblings, babysitting, or helping with financial obligations.
Remember, a gentleman makes life easier for others.
Respect Boundaries
Boundaries are physical, mental, or emotional spaces people hold sacred. It is a personal space within which they can operate alone.
It’s their privacy and nobody wants their privacy invaded by anyone.
This is important … be mindful of your family members’ boundaries and give them the space they need when required.
Respect their privacy and avoid prying into their matters.
Even the littlest in the family has a level of boundary.
Related: How a Gentleman Walks the Walk
Be Supportive of your Family’s Reasonable Goals
Encourage your family members to pursue their dreams and goals, of course, which are reasonable.
If you are in a position to give advice, go ahead and advise properly.
Offer your support and motivation to help them achieve success.
Celebrate Special Occasions
In my home, there is always something to celebrate: a new business milestone, an award, a new entry into college, a new car, Christmas, and birthdays.
It’s an opportunity for a true gentleman to show this other side of himself that celebrates life.
Acknowledge people’s good moments and give your support. If there is a small party, assist if you can in any way.
Remember important events and celebrations such as birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.
Be sensitive enough to acknowledge and celebrate these moments together.
Related: Gentleman’s Guide to Virtual Networking
How to be a Gentleman at the Workplace
One good thing about being a true gentleman is that you can be it no matter your status or position in society.
There is never a situation where being a gentleman is prohibited, even in the face of attack, unless you are not a true gentleman and trying to make excuses for it.
Your workplace is a good place to display your finish of manners to your superiors and colleagues, making them have a special regard for you.
Related: Redefining the Gentleman’s Gentleman in Modern Society
Because the workplace environment is formal unlike the home, it requires more tact, carefulness, and emotional intelligence to navigate the scheming, landmines, and the politics that abound.
However, just like ever, the bottom line is being able to make everyone feel relaxed and comfortable around you.
Here are ways to be a gentleman in the workplace:
1. Treat everyone with respect
Respect will always be at the forefront of the path of being a gentleman. A man would have overcome himself if he stripped himself of ego and pride.
Ego is one factor that makes you not want to recognize his superiors or those he is under and so desires his loyalty and respect.
It’s also ego that will make you not want to look down on your staff.
People have emotions, and so humans feel the same way you feel when you are treated with respect.
The glaring point is that you will elicit more goodwill, performance, and support when those you work with, whether they be your superiors or staff.
Related: Who is a Country Gentleman?
2. Dress Appropriately
Every working environment has its code of dressing and you should be a custodian of this code as a true gentleman.
Dressing according to your profession and the stipulation of your firm shows that you take your job seriously.
Usually, before being fully employed, you agree to the company’s culture and standards, the best a gentleman can do is to honour it.
3. Be a Good Listener
The workplace is driven by information that passes from one office to another or from person to person through different modes of communication.
Giving your full attention when information is being passed is in good taste.
You don’t need to be caught fiddling with your phone or attending to other tasks when you are being addressed.
This passes a message of rudeness and disrespect across, unbecoming of a true gentleman.
Also, being a good listener gives you a clear understanding of the message for a good response.
It is in excessive bad taste when you ask your colleagues to repeat themselves after they thought they had your attention.
Show genuine interest in what others have to say during conversations or meetings.
Avoid interrupting and give others the chance to express their thoughts and opinions.
4. Communicate Politely
After the appearance, communication is the next thing that distinguishes a true gentleman from the average man.
His speech, use of words, politeness, body language, and tone of voice are things that are easy to notice.
Most of these are unconscious; that’s why you should train yourself to be in control of your entire behaviour.
Your superiors and colleagues would pick up on these and make whatever they want with them, so make sure you are self-aware and conscious of these communication behaviours.
A gentleman communicates in ways that aid understanding and in no way incites or insinuates negativity.
On your journey to becoming a perfect gentleman, never let politeness leave your conversation.
Politeness in your language and tone will say a lot about your treatment of people.
Use polite language and tone when communicating with your colleagues.
Avoid using offensive or disrespectful language, even in informal conversations.
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6. Keep Personal Matters Separate
Separate business matters from personal matters. You might not like the face of a colleague, but it is in excessively bad taste to let this affect how productive you are with the person.
Bringing personal interests into the workplace is unbecoming of a true gentleman.
Also, it’s important to maintain a professional boundary and avoid sharing personal matters or engaging in gossip at work.
Focus on work-related discussions and keep personal conversations in appropriate settings.
When you are being dragged into such, politely withdraw yourself from such.
7. Offer Assistance
It is good conduct for a gentleman to assist a colleague who is struggling with a task or in some other kind of discomfort.
This assistance is given without belittling or condescending in any way.
Sharing your expertise and supporting others creates a positive work environment and good relationships.
8. Practice Good Email Etiquette
If you work in a firm that uses email for communication, endeavour to acquaint yourself with netiquettes – the internet version of etiquettes.
Ensure your emails are professional, concise, and courteous.
Use proper greetings and sign-offs, respond promptly, and avoid using all caps or excessive exclamation marks.
9. Be Punctual
Punctuality is another way a gentleman shows respect to his workplace, even if there is nothing to do at the moment you arrive.
It shows how disciplined you are and how important the business is to you.
Arrive on time for meetings and deadlines, respecting others’ time commitments.
If you’re running late or won’t be there at all, inform the relevant parties in advance with a sincere apology.
10. Take Responsibility for Mistakes
Accept when you make a mistake and take responsibility. Apologize if needed and work towards finding a solution.
Blaming others or making excuses creates a negative atmosphere.
Remember, being a gentleman is not limited to your actions alone; it also involves treating others with kindness, empathy, and understanding.
Practice these qualities consistently, and you’ll contribute to a more respectful and harmonious workplace.
Also Read: Easy Ways to Identify a Gentleman
Also Read: Unravelling the British Gentleman
A Gentleman on the Streets
Even in the hustle and bustle of the streets, a gentleman clings to his values and never allows the times or trends to stagger his gentlemanly etiquette and good manners.
On the street where everything unthinkable is expected to happen, the gentleman carries himself with honesty, respect, and the good intention to please.
A well-bred gentleman will be easily identified on the streets from people who lack good breeding.
Flouting these rules of good conduct is rude and points to ignorance and abandonment of propriety. Unfortunately, you can’t imagine how often it is flouted.
Here are some of the good conduct of a gentleman in the streets:
1. A Gentleman Remains Calm and Courteous in Public
Even amid noise, traffic, or delays, a gentleman stays composed. He doesn’t cut queues or raise his voice. His calm presence helps create a more respectful and orderly atmosphere.
2. He Walks With Awareness and Purpose
A gentleman doesn’t block pathways, loiter aimlessly, or inconvenience pedestrians. His posture, pace, and presence show respect for everyone sharing public space.
3. He Doesn’t Stare, Comment, or Gawk at Others
Noticing something odd on the street isn’t a license to react. A gentleman doesn’t make rude comments or even appear to notice someone’s flaws or misfortune.
4. He Never Joins Street Crowds or Trick Shows
Stopping for street acrobats, magicians, or public drama puts you at risk—and lowers your dignity. A gentleman keeps walking and stays above the fray.
5. He Makes Room When Engaged in Conversation
If he stops to greet or chat, he ensures he isn’t obstructing traffic. He respects others’ space and knows the street isn’t his drawing room.
6. He Tips His Hat When Asking for or Giving Directions
Asking for help, or offering it, requires courtesy. A gentleman removes his cap when addressing or assisting others, especially the elderly or unfamiliar women.
7. He Treats Women and Children with Utmost Respect
He never insults or argues with women in public. He speaks kindly to children, never raising his voice or using harsh words.
8. He Smokes Discreetly, Not in Broad Daylight
If he must smoke, he waits until after dark and never does so while speaking to a lady. Courtesy always comes before personal habit.
9. He Dresses Neatly and With Restraint
You don’t know who you’ll meet. A gentleman avoids flashy clothes and too much jewelry. His wardrobe is clean, modest, and tasteful.
10. He Is Always Ready to Assist Others
From helping a woman carry her load to shielding a companion with an umbrella, the gentleman takes small actions that speak volumes of his character.
Related: Understanding the Leisurely Gentleman
A Gentleman with Visits
A gentleman must pay visits to friends, family, and colleagues from time to time in society.
Let a Gentleman Speak When He Can’t Show Up: Silence Is Rude, Not Noble
If you can’t attend a friend’s event, be man enough to say so. A simple call or visit shows respect and softens the sting of your absence. Ghosting isn’t mysterious; it’s immature. A gentleman never leaves people guessing.
Refusing a Meal Isn’t Rude: It’s the Classy Thing to Do
When you visit and find your host eating, don’t be quick to join. Decline gently. But if they insist and it would please them, say yes, just don’t make a habit of showing up at mealtime again.
A Gentleman Knows When to Leave: Even Without Being Told
If your host checks their watch or seems distracted, that’s your cue to leave. A gentleman doesn’t wait for words, he reads the room. Lingering too long turns a good guest into an unwanted presence.
Even When Bored to Death, a Gentleman Listens Without Flinching
Some visitors talk too much and say too little. If they’re harmless, endure it with poise. But if they waste your time or block your work, be bold, excuse yourself politely without guilt. Manners aren’t martyrdom.
Don’t Flee Just Because Others Arrive: That’s Not How a Gentleman Leaves
When new guests walk in, don’t jump up like you’ve seen a ghost. Stay a bit longer, then excuse yourself. Leaving suddenly suggests you’re dodging someone, and that’s not how gentlemen excuse themselves.
When He Begs You to Stay, That’s the Moment You Should Leave
If your host asks you to stay after you rise to go, don’t settle back. That’s your perfect exit. Better to leave when wanted than to linger and become a burden your host can’t wait to escape.
A Gentleman Respects Another Man’s Work Time Without Needing to Be Told
Never drop by during business hours if you know he’ll be busy. You’re not doing anyone a favor by showing up uninvited. Respect a man’s grind; it’s not the time for pleasantries or idle chat.
Don’t Invade a Circle That’s Already Whole: A Gentleman Knows When He’s Extra
If people are deep in conversation and your presence adds nothing but weight, step back. Don’t force your way into intimacy that wasn’t meant for you. A gentleman never imposes where he isn’t needed.
A Visit of Condolence
When on a visit of condolence, watch the mood of your hosts and assume their tone. If they talk about their misfortune in a sorrowful mood, for instance, for their deceased relative, join them.
But if they avoid the subject because they don’t want to constantly be reminded of their sorrow, avoid it too.
It would be rude and ungentlemanly to force the feeling of sorrow afresh upon them.
Also, if they are making a painful effort to be cheerfu,l as it should be most times, cheer them up and make them forget their affliction.
At the same time, do not jest, celebrate or laugh out loud as it would violate the laws of politeness. You don’t want to be seen as heartless.
A Visit of Celebration
On the other hand, a celebration visit should be a cheerful and joyous one. Here, no painful expressions and stories.
You cannot mar the happy mood with stories of your miseries or other moody situations.
Rather enjoy with them and let them know their pleasure is also your pleasure.
Laughing with those who laugh, and weeping with those who are mourning, does not translate to hypocrisy, but mirroring your environment as a true gentleman.
A Gentleman in Conflict
Conflict is inevitable, but how a man handles it reveals his character. A gentleman doesn’t lash out or stoop low. Instead, he navigates tension with clarity, restraint, and dignity—choosing principle over ego, and resolution over chaos.
1. He Controls His Temper, Even When Provoked
A gentleman may be challenged, insulted, or misunderstood, but he does not lose his head. Anger is easy, restraint is harder. His strength lies in his ability to stay composed under fire.
2. He Picks His Battles With Wisdom
Not every slight deserves a reaction. A gentleman knows the difference between a matter of pride and a matter of principle. He doesn’t fight to be right—he speaks up only when silence would betray his values.
3. He Does Not Humiliate Others, Even When He’s Right
Winning a dispute doesn’t mean crushing someone else’s dignity. A gentleman offers others a way out with grace. He speaks firmly, but not with the intent to shame or belittle.
4. He Apologizes When He’s Wrong
There is no weakness in saying “I was wrong.” A gentleman owns his mistakes, corrects them, and makes peace when he can, without waiting to be forced.
5. He Knows When to Walk Away
Sometimes the most dignified move is to leave a toxic argument behind. A gentleman doesn’t chase chaos or trade insults. He chooses peace over pride when the situation calls for it.
A Gentleman in the Party
Dancing remains the best amusement, so delightful and popular that it lightens and lifts the spirit.
According to Lord Chesterfield to his son in a letter:
Lord Chesterfield’s letter to his son says:
“Dancing is, in itself, a very trifling and silly thing; but it is one of those established follies to which people of sense are sometimes obliged to conform; and then they should be able to do it well.
And, though I would not have you a dancer, yet, when you do dance, I would have you dance well, as I would have you do everything you do well.”
In another letter, he writes:
“Do you mind your dancing while your dancing master is with you? As you will be often under the necessity of dancing a minute, I would have you dance it very well.
Remember that the graceful motion of the arms, the giving of your hand, and the putting off and putting on of your hat genteelly, are the material parts of a gentleman’s dancing.
But the greatest advantage of dancing well is, that it necessarily teaches you to present yourself, to sit, stand, and walk genteelly; all of which are of real importance to a man of fashion.”
Lord Chesterfield
A few things can ease the carriage of a gentleman than dancing and exercise because they give him easy motion, a soft step, with the arms and feet conjuring fine harmony that pleases judgment.
But what can be more awkward than a man who doesn’t know how to make his arms and legs do a harmony that is pleasing by finding his arms and legs in his way, betraying his lack of dancing skill.
To such gentlemen, learn to dance.
Gentleman in Dressing
There is a proverb – “it’s not the cowl that makes the monk”, and it can well apply to the gentleman’s dressing – the cloth does not make the gentleman.
But as the monk is identified abroad by his cowl, so the gentleman is identified by his refinement and tact.
One of the foremost dressing etiquette for the gentleman “Let the dress fit the occasion.”
Every dress is made for a reason. We know the primary reason for cloth is to cover nakedness, yeah.
But each kind of clothing serves an occasional purpose. This is what the true gentleman should know.
You don’t want to be caught in a suit on your way to the farm, or in your overalls in an evening party.
Though men don’t have much choice for colours in clothes, there are still good masculine colours that the gentleman can choose.
Grey, black, blue, brown, and ash are all good colours that men can choose in their shades.
Whatever a gentleman wears, he should be sure it is agreeable with his spirit and make himself valuable, and not his dress, his wits, not his toilette, his elegance, and not the cost of his clothes.
Another dressing etiquette for the gentleman is not to try to appear too conspicuous.
If you are wealthy and you love fine things, let the luxury of your appearance show the fine quality of each accessory, but not too much jewelry and other too obvious accessories that are seen on account of their monetary value.
The gentleman’s wardrobe follows simplicity.
Indulge in fashion as far as it is necessary to avoid oddities in your costume. Use your perfume but very little, as too much of it is in excessively bad taste.
Conclusion
While every man needs to understand how to be a gentleman, not every man is destined to be a gentleman.
Embracing the principles of gentlemanliness proves indispensable in navigating diverse social landscapes.
Whether attending a formal event or engaging in casual interactions, the art of being a gentleman promotes respect and sometimes amusement.
From the above, we have seen how being a gentleman in many situations is possible, starting from the home to the workplace and how a gentleman acts during visits and other situations.
A gentleman might not be flawless, but he loves and enjoys orderliness and encourages others to follow suit.
While it is difficult to get everybody to be gentlemanly, the true gentleman does his bits and leaves a trail.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I be a gentleman all the time?
Being a gentleman entails respecting others, practicing kindness, displaying good manners consistently, and demonstrating empathy in all interactions, fostering a positive and respectful environment.
How do I behave like a gentleman?
Embrace courtesy, exhibit polite behavior, prioritize others’ comfort, practice active listening, and display respect for diversity to embody gentlemanly conduct in daily interactions.
How do you teach a guy to be a gentleman?
Teach a guy to be a gentleman by setting a positive example, discussing the importance of respect and empathy, providing guidance on etiquette, and encouraging self-awareness and personal growth.
Pyo Merez is a men’s lifestyle enthusiast and writer about the gentleman’s place and impact on society. Raised by a distinguished gentleman dad, he offers unique insights into how the mind of a gentleman works and how societal norms shape gentlemen’s identity and vice versa.
Through his insightful articles, Pyo taps into the depths of gentleman culture to provide perspectives on etiquette and manners in modern society.